Where's Elton?

Those of us who live in close proximity to Blighty's have an illustrious and famous part-time neighbour. He is an Englishman too. His new Canadian home (one of his many residences around the World) has just been completed alongside highway 10 in Caledon just outside Orangeville. Last week we received a report that security was very visible around the fortified entrances to Elton John's hillside mansion - evidence that the main man himself may be in town. I checked his concert schedule, and he is indeed going to be performing in Canada and the United States during the next few weeks. We have a red carpet ready and waiting here at Blighty's; I am sure he will need some British nosh during his visit. If you are reading this Elton, there's a welcome waiting for you here old mate!

Oooh, it's gonna be a long, long time 'til touchdown brings me round again to find ...

The Old Scottish Lady of Threadneedle Street

In an amazing and curious reversal of logic, history tells us that the Bank of England was founded by a Scotsman and the Bank of Scotland was founded by an Englishman. How and why did that happen?

Our story starts in 1658 when the future Sir William Patterson was born at his parents' farmhouse in Tinwald, Scotland. William pursued his destiny as an entrepeneur to Bristol and then the Bahamas where he hatched a scheme to create a gateway to the Far East through Panama. Moving back to London, he unsuccessfully attempted to persuade the British government to support his scheme. Meanwhile he made his fortune as a merchant and came up with an idea to create a central bank to the government that would have the power to print money. This time his proposal was accepted and the Bank of England received its charter in 1694.

The Bank of Scotland was proposed by John Holland, a retired London merchant in 1696 and established by an act of the Scottish Parliament in Edinburgh that same year. The Bank of Scotland was modelled after the Bank of England and was incorporated with the same startup capital of 1.2 million pounds sterling.

Strange, but true.

Security Level Raised in England ;-)

The following was received from an English friend and should be read with tongue firmly in cheek:

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

99 With Monkey's Blood

An interesting article was posted on the BBC website today. It posed the question of how the ice cream treat called the "99" got its name. 99% of Blighty's Blog readers must be familiar with the British 99, but for the other 1% I'll descibe it as a soft ice cream cone with a Cadbury's Flake stuck in it. No official origin for the name is known but there are some intriguing theories. One of my favourites is based on the fact that the initials for ice cream - IC - is one way of representing the number 99 using Roman numerals. Another theory suggests that a Flake is made up with 99 layers of chocolate. If you have an answer, click on the comment link at the bottom of this post and share it with us.

Oh yes, a "99 with Monkey's Blood" is a 99 with raspberry sauce poured on top.

The Canny Haggis

What exactly is a Haggis? So many people have asked me that I decided to blog the answer. So, we'll start off this month's posts with an explanation. I am sure that everybody is aware that the Haggis comes from Bonnie Scotland. Most people will also be aware that Scotland is a very hilly country. Britain's tallest peak "Ben Nevis" lies in the Scottish highlands. The highland hills can be very challenging - I know, I challenged them on a bicycle many years ago. The wildlife of the Highlands has adapted to the tough terrain in some very unique ways. One example of highland terrain adaptation is an animal that is found only in the Scottish Highlands. It is a member of the sheep family and is called the "Haggis".

The Haggis has one very unique and distinguishing characteristic. The legs on one side of the animal are markedly shorter than the legs on the other side (see the illustration). This evolutionary change enables the animal to remain upright while walking on steep Highland hillsides.

Haggis hunts are a popular spring activity in the highlands and are conducted in traditional highland attire accompanied by much pomp and ceremony. The sound of the pipes stirs the animal into a run. The haggis is very fast and quite ferocious when pursued but, of course, it can only run one way around the hills (it would topple and fall if it tried to run the other way). Haggis hunters catch the haggis by the simple expedient of running around the hill in the opposite direction to the animal.

When the Haggis is confronted by a hunter brandishing his claymore it freezes in fear (well wouldn't we all freeze in fear if confronted by a belligerent, kilted highlander with a claymore?) and succumbs to its fate.

Haggis meat gets its unique flavour from the animal's diet. The haggis subsists on wild onions and oats so you will often find these items listed in the ingredients on the meat packaging.

So now you have the definitive answer to the question of "what is a haggis?". This explanation makes a great conversation topic at parties, bars and social events. Spread the word.