"Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited" - John Cleese

Author John Corby also writes as "Bulldogge" for the British Canadian newspaper.

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Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Snow's Stopped - Take Your Socks Off!

Dispatch from Blighty's Blog correspondent C. Lee-Sossedge in our New York (just off the A19 near Newcastle-upon-Tyne) bureau:

We are having a spot of winter here in the United Queendom again this year. And, damn it, the Great British snow plough was sent up to Scotland just before Christmas and now it's in for its annual service. Won't be able to get it back down the motorway again until the end of April. Blast!

Still, never mind, the boffins have come up with a splendid idea to help motorists cope with that bloody awful white stuff. It's a new invention called "Snow Socks". Brilliantly simple really. Just pop the socks over the jolly old car tyres and Bob's your uncle - no more piggy-stuck-in-the-ditchy for you.

Here's how to do it: wrap the socks over the top of the tyres on both wheels on the drive axle, then pop back into the car and drive it forward a couple of feet then simply slip the bottoms of the socky-wockies over the rest of the tyre and bingo, you're off to the races! It's a snap, you'll have it down pat as quick as you can say "watch out uncle Willie, there's a lorry coming!"

Now, don't forget, when you get back on to a dry road you'll have to pull over and slip the socks off again. You don't want to be caught driving on a dry road with your socks on because they'll turn into shreddies very quickly if you do!

Happy motoring Britons!

** Weatherflash **
The Met Office has issued a warning to motorists throughout the British Isles. Temperatures are expected to drop to near freezing tonight as a cold front moves in from the Irish Sea. Motorists are advised to stay at home unless travel is essential. If you have to venture out onto the roads, police are advising motorists to wear a  double layer of socks ... on their tyres.