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Thursday, May 28, 2009

Elton John's Home Again

More news from the local grapevine is pouring in concerning yesterday's story about whether Sir Elton John owns a home in the Caledon Hills near Toronto.

Traffic in the store and on Blighty's website has increased dramatically since the Toronto Star broke the news about Sir Elton's possible local home yesterday. People have been crowding into the store to share their tidbits of information on the subject.

Caledon is a small rural town in southern Ontario. The nearest local shopping area is in the adjacent town of Orangeville, a few short kilometers from Sir Elton's sprawling mansion on the edge of the Niagara Escarpment. This is a close knit community and people talk.

Here is what Blighty's Blog has learned

A smokescreen cover story was released to members of the local private golf club that the home in question is actually owned by a reclusive billionaire. The name of the recluse was disclosed to Blighty's Blog golf reporter Andrew Oldcourse, but further investigation of the named individual has failed to turn up any information about the man or the source of his money.

Key Evidence Revealed
During early construction a local resident ignored signs posted on the property that read: "No trespassing, by order of an English knight who plays the piano and likes his privacy!". Stealthily penetrating the very structure of the building he found a large pool with elaborate fountains and something else that is a very important piece of evidence.

Sir Elton John is a "Petrolhead"

Our local, intrepid amateur spy, Jim Bond, discovered a feature of the house that inextricably links Sir Elton - a known "petrolhead" (car enthusiast) - with the building. The feature is a rotating garage with a capacity for 30 cars. Sir Elton owns a large collection of expensive cars.

"The Client" is Coming!
Construction work continues on the house. The building itself is substantially complete as could be seen in the picture published by the Toronto Star yesterday. Some local tradesmen are still working at the property. One of Blighty's customers told Blighty's Blog this morning that one contractor's craftsmen were told to expedite completion of their efforts last week because "the client" was coming to town. Sir Elton John performed at the Air Canada Centre in downtown Toronto just a fews days ago.

The Registered Homeowner is ...

If I were a multi-millionaire performer who wanted a private hideaway nestled in an exclusive neighborhood, safe from the prying eyes of local serfs, I would probably register ownership through a foreign numbered corporation with nominee directors.

Sir Elton had other thoughts apparently. And this tidbit is, thus far, unsubstantiated rumour. Sir Elton had ownership of the house registered in the name of his partner's (David Furnish) parents. That should be fairly easy for somebody connected with the real estate industry to check out.

Meanwhile, Down in the Valley
At the foot of the hill, below Sir Elton's new house, lies a scenic road twisting and turning alongside the Credit River. Blighty's Blog has hired the services of a resident of that road to keep watch over activities at the top of the hill. So, Sir Elton, while you and David are kicking back with a glass of wine on your deck some evening this week, the strange reflection you see at the bottom of the hill will be the setting sun glinting off the binoculars held by Blighty's Blog's observer-in-action Ms Soon C. Hoos-Thair.

5 comments:

  1. Anonymous2:17 PM

    You got me bang-to-rights guv. I guess the games up.

    ...Rocket Man

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous2:17 PM

    Leave us in peace you blackguard.
    David F.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Another customer observed to me that the identity of prominent local homeowners is not a secret to the police.

    The local police force in Caledon is the Ontario Provincial Police (OPP) and officers of that force, with whom this customer is acquainted have winked and nodded affirmation of what everybody here already believes.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Why don't you just mind your own business and let the homeowners live there in peace. Elton John has stated that this isn't his home and I know this for a fact, let it go.

    Heather

    ReplyDelete
  5. Aha. It always raises the suspicion level when a comment such as the one posted by "Heather" appears.

    I am sure that "the homeowners" don't pay the slightest bit of attention to the harmless speculation of local residents.

    My name isn't registered on title to the home I own either.

    Thanks for the input "Heather".

    ReplyDelete