"Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited" - John Cleese

Author John Corby also writes as "Bulldogge" for the British Canadian newspaper.

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Thursday, December 04, 2008

British Man Beats Up Santa Claus

Irate tourists who cashed their government gyro cheques to pay hefty admission charges to a new Christmas theme park in Hampshire, England have been swindled by an unscrupulous theme park operator.

The owner of "Lapland" on the south coast was caught masquerading as Santa Claus (of course, Canadians would have immediately detected the fraud. Santa lives at the North Pole which makes him a Canadian - well the magnetic north pole is indisputably part of Canada anyway eh?).

Once inside Lapland, visitors found the theme park to be little more than a collection of miserable huts. A much vaunted "tunnel of light" turned out to be nothing more than a string of old Christmas lights hung from a row of trees.

When "Santa" was found enjoying a sly smoke out the back of his grotto he was jumped on by a disgruntled park visitor and given a knuckle sandwich.

The owner of Lapland, it turns out, is a convicted tax fraudster.

Story filed by Blighty's Blog Tourism Editor, Jim N. E. Cricket

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