"Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited" - John Cleese

Author John Corby also writes as "Bulldogge" for the British Canadian newspaper.

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Newsflash from New York (no, not that one!) |  Are the British better drivers? |  The Story of the Telephone Kiosk |  Drinking Nelson's Blood |  Screaming Jelly Babies |  Flying to the UK is very dangerous! |  Brits to drive on the right |  Who hung the monkey? |  Upper class virgins |  Double, double trouble |  What a Lovely Morning for a War

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

A Complete Twit

A story in this week's International Express newspaper caught the eye of the editor at Blighty's Blog's global headquarters today. A man in England has been arrested by her Britannic Majesty's constables for driving while under the influence of alcohol.

Sharp-eyed bobbies apprehended the 40 year old man driving on the road outside his home with twice the legal limit of alcohol in his bloodstream. He was hauled before the magistrate and banned from driving for three years.

The driver caught the attention of the men-in-blue because his knees were sticking up out of the top of his car. The vehicle in question was a toy Barbie car capable of a top speed of around four miles per hour. The six-foot tall former RAF engineer had been working on the car with his son and had blown the froth off a couple of cold ones while doing so.

Describing himself as "a complete twit" he was, nevertheless, shocked at being charged with drunk-driving. Blighty's Blog motoring correspondent Cy Linder reports that constables all over the United Queendom have been issued with shiny new truncheons and sent out to patrol the roads of Britain to prevent a rash of copy-cat crimes being committed by fathers of small children throughout the realm.

There are believed to be several thousand Barbie cars in Britain. The public has been urged to look out for them. They are easy to identify - they are all pink and very, very small.

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