Tales From the Trip: #11 Double Double Trouble

When a Canadian walks into a donut shop and orders a "double double" he generally expects to get a cup of coffee with double cream and double sugar. When I walked into a fish & chip shop in Northumberland and ordered "fish & chips twice" I might have inadvertently ordered more than I expected.

Fish & Chips Twice

"Fish & chips twice", as I recall from living in the United Queendom twenty eight years ago, was a way of saying "could I have two orders of fish and chips please". I wanted one order for myself and another for senior management (She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed).

Ski School

To my astonishment, what I received was two very large pieces of cod and a mound of chips so big that Canadians would call it a ski hill. Twice. Yes, that's one small school of fish and a ski hill for me and the same again for my wife.

It was a very good meal too. But do the people of Northumberland usually eat such huge meals or did I miss some nuance of the local dialect and order a double-double fish & chips?

A Double Blow for Mary

SWMBO and I toured several cathedrals during our visit to the Land of Hope and Glory. Peterborough Cathedral is one of the smaller cathedrals, but a very interesting building all the same. We came across the former burial place of Mary Queen of Scots.

Following her execution at Fotheringay Castle in 1587, Mary was interred in Peterborough Cathedral. She was exhumed when her son James I came to the throne and re-buried in Westminster Abbey near her sister Elizabeth I who had signed her death warrant.

A sign in the cathedral simply noted that Mary died on the second blow of the executioner's axe. "Ouch" I thought and wanted to know more. I had always thought that royal beheadings were neat, clean deaths. Not so, it seems.

Sorry, I Missed

The headsman's first blow caught Mary on the back of the head. His second blow severed her head from her body but for one strand of sinew that he cut by sawing at it with the axe blade. How horrible.

Tales From the Trip: #10 Bad Beer

Blighty's Blog recently spent a fortnight in the United Queendom. We came back with some great "tales from the trip". Here's another one.

We British love our beer. Even those of us who no longer live in the Land of Hope and Glory still love our beer.

Ice Cold Tubes of Slop
Forget about Bavarian purity laws and Aussie slop whose only claim to fame is how cold it can be made without actually freezing.

The Beer That Made Milwaukee Flameless
American beer is used for putting out brewery fires in Canada which is a terrible shame because, if there is any justice in the world, most Canadian breweries should actually be left to burn.

It's Alive!
What makes British beer the best in the world? It is alive! Literally. British real ale is delivered with live yeast in the barrel. The big Brit breweries tried to convert us to pasteurized, pressurized keg beer but their malevolence was defeated by one of the fundamental rules of physics: "to every action there is an equal and opposite reaction".

Throw it in the River
The reaction to keg beer was a massive public uprising in favour of traditional ale. Blighty's Blog travelled to Peterborough, England this summer and saw what the people there do with beer that doesn't measure up to their standards. As our picture shows, they simply toss it into the river.

Time Gentlemen Please
So why then are British pubs closing at the rate of 40 per month? Some blame the ban on smoking, others point to supermarket aisles bulging with cheap booze. I blame people like the friends I stayed with while in England. The poor pubs just couldn't keep up with their appetite for English ale. God bless them.

Ignatieff Congratulates England

Canadian politician Michael Ignatieff congratulates the England soccer team on qualifying for the World Cup competition in South Africa next year? Does anybody else see the resemblance?

Tales From the Trip: #9 Seven Feet Under the Sea

Blighty's Blog recently spent a fortnight in the United Queendom. We came back with some great "tales from the trip". Here's another one.
 

It was a strange experience. I was standing seven feet below the sea without getting wet. Sure, the ground beneath my feet was damp but, as I looked around, I could see that I was definitely on terra firma.

The Lowest Point in England

I was in Holme Fen near Peterborough, England. Holme Fen is the lowest point in England at more than seven feet below sea level. The picture above shows one of the Holme Fen posts. They are used to measure the depth of the land below sea level as the fens are drained.

All Dried Up

The whole area used to be covered by England's second largest lake called Whittlesey Mere. But the lake was drained dry in the middle of the nineteenth century and the peat began to erode as it dried out. There are date markers on one of the posts showing the height of the land at various points in history.

On the Level

The top of the original post was level with the ground one hundred and fifty years ago, but erosion of the peat has dropped the land to its present level.

Dykes Everywhere

The terrain in the English fens is quite unique and unlike any other part of England. Vegetation is thick and rich due to the peat base and ample water supply. Thousands of dykes carry water away from the fields and they all have names. One of them is called "Pig Dyke"; nobody knows why. This was definitely the lowest point of my trip!

Driving on the Left - All Change!

I had to check my calendar this morning. I was feeling groggier than usual after the long weekend and I thought maybe it was April 1st. BBC World News was announcing that the nation of Samoa had just switched to driving on the left hand side of the road.

Just over a year ago Blighty's Blog reported that Prime Minister Gordon Brown was planning to switch British drivers over to the right hand side of the road in time for the London Olympics in 2012 (read "Brits to Drive on the Right?").

Dry British Humour
That post was written in dry British humour style. So dry, in fact, that the hard copy pinned to the back wall of the store has misled many customers. Some come up to the cash desk shaking their heads in disbelief at how far off the beaten track Britain's unpopular PM has slid.

Spoof
That post was, of course, a spoof. It told of a 2-phase transition in which cars would do the switchover first as a trial. Later, if the transition was successful, trucks and buses would also switchover to the right.

Three Cups of Coffee Later
So, when I heard the BBC reporter telling viewers of a smooth transition in Samoa I was a complete skeptic. Three cups of coffee later I checked the BBC News website to dispel my skepticism. Yes, it is true. At 0600 today, sirens sounded and all the drivers in Samoa crossed over to the other side of the road.

Stone Cold Sober
A two day holiday preceded the switch and alcohol sales were suspended to ensure that everybody was stone cold sober. Complaints poured in about the driver's side door being on the wrong side of the vehicle but no accidents were reported.


Tongue-in-Cheek
Yes, Blighty's Blog has a reputation for being written with tongue-in-cheek and should often be read that way, but this story is (to the best of our knowledge) completely true. The BBC News link "Samoa Switches to Driving on the Left" may not work for ever, but while it does you can read the story for yourself.

Tales From the Trip: #8 A Day at the Races

Blighty's Blog recently spent a fortnight in the United Queendom. We came back with some great "tales from the trip". Here's another one.
 
I was handed this itinerary for a day out at York races while I was in the UK. The identity of "the pub" has been removed to protect the innocent (that's me actually. These blog posts are cross-posted to Blighty's Facebook page and the landlord of "the pub" is a Blighty's Facebook fan).

As you can see, the itinerary is fairly "liquid". But, whose itinerary is it? None other than the police in a Manchester suburb! I understand that the coach driver was teetotal.

08:30 Meet at the pub

08:35 A Pint

09:00 Breakfast with a pint

09:30 Have a bet with Keith, and a pint

10:00 Try the quiz, with a pint

10:30 On the coach

11:30 Stop for a couple of pints

12:30 On the coach to York

13:00 Enter the racecourse

Enjoy the races and have a few pints

18:00 Back on coach after last race

Back to the pub for a curry and a few pints

Tales From the Trip: #7 Everything's Tickety Boo

Blighty's Blog recently spent a fortnight in the United Queendom. We came back with some great "tales from the trip". Here's another one.

Up The Great North Road
Our journey up to the Holy Island of Lindisfarne (see last post) took us along the "Great North Road" (more on that road in a future post). We didn't want to waste any time because, as you will understand if you did read the last post, the time of the tide waits for no man.

Mighty Castles, Beautiful Beaches
On the return trip to the Sunderland area we took the coastal road. The road along the Northumberland coast passes many castles and beautiful beaches. Along the way we made a short stop in the small town of Seahouses. This small town, during a one hour visit, provided Blighty's Blog with enough material for a whole series of blog posts.

How Are You Today?
We enjoyed a fish and chip supper (there's a blog post on that meal coming up) and then, on the walk back to our car, came across the fascinating vehicle pictured above. I have been fond of using the phrase "tickety-boo" for a long time. When some folk say "how are you today" they don't really expect an answer. So an appropriate response is "tickety-boo" which I used to believe was meaningless.

Tikai Babu
But when I researched the phrase, using the excellent resources of phrases.org.uk, I discovered that, in all likelihood, "tickety-boo" really does mean something.

According to a contributor to that site who uses the cryptic identity of "TheFallen" , the Hindi phrase transliterated as "tikai babu" means "everything's fine, sir".Which is exactly how I felt after eating an extraordinarily generous portion of fish & chips.