Laugh and the World Laughs At You

There is one thing, above all, that separates us Brits from the rest of the world - the ability to laugh at ourselves. This blog takes a tongue-in-cheek look back across the pond from the Great White North of Canada.

A Network of Top-Notch Foreign Correspondents - Just Imagine That!
Blog headquarters at Blighty's Tuck Store in Orangeville, Ontario is the nerve centre of an International network of correspondents. Renowned writers such as Cliff Whitedover in Kent, Carna Bystreet and Elizabeth Scorgis in London, file regular reports from their office in Whopping Lye, England.

Help, Help the Paranoids Are Chasing Us!
Doom-mongers, stiff upper lippers, politicians and mindless bureaucrats will be lampooned, or maybe even harpooned, without mercy. Smile and enjoy.
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Monday, September 14, 2009

Tales From the Trip: #10 Bad Beer

Blighty's Blog recently spent a fortnight in the United Queendom. We came back with some great "tales from the trip". Here's another one.

We British love our beer. Even those of us who no longer live in the Land of Hope and Glory still love our beer.

Ice Cold Tubes of Slop
Forget about Bavarian purity laws and Aussie slop whose only claim to fame is how cold it can be made without actually freezing.

The Beer That Made Milwaukee Flameless
American beer is used for putting out brewery fires in Canada which is a terrible shame because, if there is any justice in the world, most Canadian breweries should actually be left to burn.

It's Alive!
What makes British beer the best in the world? It is alive! Literally. British real ale is delivered with live yeast in the barrel. The big Brit breweries tried to convert us to pasteurized, pressurized keg beer but their malevolence was defeated by one of the fundamental rules of physics: "to every action there is an equal and opposite reaction".

Throw it in the River
The reaction to keg beer was a massive public uprising in favour of traditional ale. Blighty's Blog travelled to Peterborough, England this summer and saw what the people there do with beer that doesn't measure up to their standards. As our picture shows, they simply toss it into the river.

Time Gentlemen Please
So why then are British pubs closing at the rate of 40 per month? Some blame the ban on smoking, others point to supermarket aisles bulging with cheap booze. I blame people like the friends I stayed with while in England. The poor pubs just couldn't keep up with their appetite for English ale. God bless them.

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