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Monday, January 25, 2010

Immigration Problem Out of this World

British bookie Ladbrokes has dropped the odds on Britain receiving a wave of immigration from extra-terrestrial sources. When you walk into your neighborhood turf accountant's office and lay down a quid you can now expect to earn no more than a grand - down from a previous five grand.

The Science is Settled Say Top Boffins
Odds were shortened in the wake of a London conference this week attended by eminent scientists from around the planet. In a communique issued from the conference floor, scientists told the media that the "science is settled". "Our computer models" they say "predict that aliens will land in Britain within the next 50 years".

British Lord Affirms Aliens Expected
According to Britain's Daily Express newspaper, the bookie's move came after Lord Rees told the British people that alien immigration is now more likely than ever. His lordship's stern pronouncement was reluctantly endorsed by British prime minister Gordon Brown (pictured) after the PM denied tabloid stories that he is himself an alien.

Alien Minorities Set for Poverty
Immigration activist and conference speaker, Mr Lef Twinger released a study showing that when the aliens arrive they will already be economically disadvantaged. He demanded the government take immediate action to protect alien rights.

Story filed by Blighty's blog science correspondent Fuller Rubisch.

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