"Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited" - John Cleese

Author John Corby also writes as "Bulldogge" for the British Canadian newspaper.

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Wednesday, January 06, 2010

England to Win World Cup Before the End of the World

It's official. Britain's Sun newspaper has confirmed what fans of English football have known for the last 44 years. "England will win the World Cup before the end of the world".

In today's Sun there is a report that the Hubble Space Telescope has discovered an imminent supernova (exploding star) only 3000 light years from Earth. If the star explodes, as scientists predict, the blast will destroy life on Earth.

The announcement has stirred considerable controversy among doom-mongers. Proponents of global warming claim the supernova is irrelevant because their disaster was first in line. Meanwhile the H1N1 lobby maintains their pandemic will kill most of us before either global warming or the supernova can wipe us out.

A healthy looking economist stranded in snow from the worst winter in the northern hemisphere for 100 years told Blighty's Blog that the uncertainty surrounding the future of mankind has upset markets around the globe and has slowed recovery from the global recession. "We are all going to die from the aftermath of a collapse of the global economy" he stated chillingly.

Britain's Sun newspaper, renowned for its page 3 analysis of what matters most to Britain, commented on the destruction of life on Earth by the supernova saying: "Let's hope there's still time for England's very own stars to put in a stella (sic) performance at this summer's World Cup in South Africa."

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