"Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited" - John Cleese

Author John Corby also writes as "Bulldogge" for the British Canadian newspaper.

A Farthingsworth of Tall Tales from Blighty's Fameless Blog
Newsflash from New York (no, not that one!) |  Are the British better drivers? |  The Story of the Telephone Kiosk |  Drinking Nelson's Blood |  Screaming Jelly Babies |  Flying to the UK is very dangerous! |  Brits to drive on the right |  Who hung the monkey? |  Upper class virgins |  Double, double trouble |  What a Lovely Morning for a War

Monday, August 10, 2009

6 Brits to Throw a Shoe at: #4 Jonathan Ross

The world has become familiar with the symbolism of throwing a shoe at somebody ever since the well-publicized incident in which a disgruntled middle-eastern gentleman hurled a shoe at former US President George W. Bush. When Blighty's Blog throws a shoe at somebody it means we feel the same way. Want to throw a shoe at some famous Brit? Tell us who.

Some people achieve success in spite of their unpleasant personality, unacceptable, anti-social behaviour and their offensiveness. Why is it that a person can behave in this manner and still be paid £10,000 per TV show - out of public funds - for doing it?

£10,000
Many people take a year to make £10,000. Some of them work in shoe stores. Blighty's Blog would like to take all the shoes these people sell while earning their £10,000 and throw them at some of our "throw a shoe at" candidates. We would like to, but we have a strict policy of only one shoe per scumbag.

Expletives Undeleted
But now let us discuss popular BBC entertainer Jonathan Ross. Mr Ross has made a career out of public vulgarity, crude references to female personalities and on-air expletives. He was recently suspended by the BBC for one particularly inappropriate and offensive episode. He has since been re-instated and even appears on Canadian TV screens now.

Crude, Rude & Crass
Mr Ross's targets have included Conservative party leader David Cameron with whom he made a crude reference to former Conservative Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher. Mr Ross has made equally distasteful remarks to actress Gwyneth Paltrow and suggested that former wife of Paul McCartney, Heather Mills, who has only one leg, was lying and really had two.

Rhotacism
Jonathan Ross has a conspicuous speech impediment called Rhotacism that leaves him incapable of pronouncing the letter "r". Perhaps that is why he finds words beginning with the letter "f" more appealing. And, unlike Ozzy Osbourne who was recently "shoed" on this blog, Mr Ross is not known to be a victim of substance abuse that might be causing behavioural alterations. Mr Ross is in full command of his faculties when he behaves as he does.

We are going to wait until he isn't looking and throw a shoe from behind his back. Perhaps a knock on the head would be therapeutic.

No comments:

Post a Comment