"Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited" - John Cleese

Author John Corby also writes as "Bulldogge" for the British Canadian newspaper.

A Farthingsworth of Tall Tales from Blighty's Fameless Blog
Newsflash from New York (no, not that one!) |  Are the British better drivers? |  The Story of the Telephone Kiosk |  Drinking Nelson's Blood |  Screaming Jelly Babies |  Flying to the UK is very dangerous! |  Brits to drive on the right |  Who hung the monkey? |  Upper class virgins |  Double, double trouble |  What a Lovely Morning for a War

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

6 Brits to Throw a Shoe at: #5 Simon Cowell

The world has become familiar with the symbolism of throwing a shoe at somebody ever since the well-publicized incident in which a disgruntled middle-eastern gentleman hurled a shoe at former US President George W. Bush. When Blighty's Blog throws a shoe at somebody it means we feel the same way. Want to throw a shoe at some famous Brit? Tell us who.

Blighty's Blog would like to tell you the tale of a rude, sneering, spoiled brat who was expelled from a series of exclusive private schools for which his well-heeled parents paid the fees.

We could tell you how the spoiled brat grew up surrounded by pampering nannies, thinking he had a better pot to pee in than the rest of the world.

We would like to tell how the world bought into his self-image and made him a multi-millionaire.

Mail Room Clerk

But instead today's blog post is going to discuss entertainment guru Simon Cowell. Mr Cowell was born in Brighton, England in 1959. He has achieved a lot of his fame by being simply obnoxious. His father was influential in the music business and got his erring son a job as a lowly mailroom clerk with a record company. The mischievous boy made good at the job and quickly rose through the ranks. Bursting out into an unsuspecting world on his own, he went on to become a music producer and record label owner.

TransAtlantic Idol
Cowell's breakthrough came when he was appointed as a judge on the British TV show "Pop Idol" and subsequently on the American spin-off "American Idol". His lack of sensitivity for aspiring young talent trying hard for a breakthrough in show business was amply demonstrated in his scathing sarcasm and dismissive attitude toward acts he didn't like. His biting comments and unpleasant demeanour became his springboard for success.

Stand Aside for Simon
He has since appeared as a judge in other talent shows such as "Britain's Got Talent" alongside fellow "throw a shoe at" candidate Ant Andec. In that show another judge was well known personality Piers Morgan, former editor of the British tabloid newspaper "News of the World". While filming for the show in Manchester, England, Mr Morgan was waiting in his hotel lobby one morning. He was told to stand aside by the paparazzi so they could take pictures of Simon Cowell.

Walk On
On the road to success, Simon Cowell walks on the fallen hopefuls he has put down, abused and insulted. We would like to collect the shoes of all those poor souls and launch them at him from a catapult. But, we have a strict policy that even the lowest scumbag receives only one shoe. Simon Cowell is a haughty and exalted candidate for our shoe so we will only throw one shoe at him too - but it will be a very expensive, hand-made shoe I am sure.

No comments:

Post a Comment